Linguistics Update or Christ, I’m Old
It has finally happened. Slang has become so stupid (meaning stupid, not stoo-pid as in crazy in a good way) that I can no longer pretend it’s cool (as in good, not coldish). Over the years I’ve found myself thinking things like ‘what the hell is that kid wearing’ and ‘pull up your damn pants’, but other than that I have stayed fairly assimilated into the culture of today. That, however, is fashion, or perhaps the lack thereof, and is an ongoing and always changing fad (for most of us anyway- cut your mullet). Language is different. Slang may be hip and now and whatever else, but it also becomes part of our daily canon of English, or what passes for English anyway. The youth of today are not the first generation to take random words and twist them into a new meaning. Some things are forgotten (remember word that?) and others stay forever (see cool). Usually, if I have any problem with the usage of the language it is in the delivery, not the message. Um, like, you know what I’m saying,- these are the signs of ignorance. Sounding like an imbecile shouldn’t be stylish- should it? Granted, I’m out of touch and find myself embracing the teachings of those before me, subjects that appear lost on most of the new generation, like respect, manners and education- archaic as they may be. The word that has triggered this line of thought in me is grip, no longer a hold or whatever it is that the people on movie sets do, but a lot, much, many, large in number, none of which would be bad (not good) if not for the context in which it appears: I gots a grip a pencil, you wanna pencil? translation: I have many pencils, would you like a pencil? Does this annoy anyone else? As I have mentioned before I blame the J.Lo’s of the world, glorifying ignorance to their young fans, and speaking the Queen’s English to Barbara Walters. Who decided that the youth should be talked down to and Walters should have her ass kissed? That’s a grip of insult to what is, help us, the future.
Please, youth, if you are reading this, man I hope you can read, please use what is left of your brain before you become as useless as the rest of us. You still have a chance to save yourselves and everything else. Get a grip.
I should have drawn the line at Snap.