<HONEA EXPRESS: Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What Did I Feed You?

It finally happened. Honea Express has moved to greener pastures, or possibly just out to pasture -- you make the call.

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Please pardon the dust and update your feed readers accordingly. Thank you - Whit

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What Did I Feed You?

What the hell do cats eat that smells so bad? One of our cats, Parenteau, that I thought had outgrown her habit of crapping in my office, seems to be treading down memory lane. In the middle of the night I hear what sounds like someone trying to start a Volkswagen in my hallway- no such luck, it's the cat heaving the days catch onto the area rug. The dog, Valentine, and I got up out of bed to investigate, saw what it was and put the cat outside. Walking back towards my bedroom I reached to shut the office door and that was when I spied with my little eye a pile of cat crap. The damn cat had only been in the house about 40 minutes. What the hell is that? So, being already committed to sleeping I decided to continue shutting the door and deal with said mess in the morning. Opening the door this morning I was greeted, and immediately chocked, by the overwhelming smell of aged cat ass. What do the people at Friskies put in that food that creates such a smell? I've enjoyed gas station men's rooms more. Needless to say, I cleaned it up as best I could, which removed the sight but not the stench. I pulled out the rug (it was half on the rug and half on my wife's favorite blanket) and took it outside (I had already thrown the blanket in the wash). Now I'm sitting here, windows open and the heavy sent of air freshener lingering, and despite that, and despite the stuffed up nose I am enduring due to the open windows and the pollens of spring, I can still smell it. I can smell it and it gags me with wonder.

Possible Catfood Ingredients:
-Skunk (just the ass)
-case of Coors Light
-rotten egg(s)
-roadkill (aged)
-diapers (used)
-your underarm