Thanksgiving is coming and it brings reflection. What have I lost? What have I gained? What should I give thanks for and to whom?
I've lost my share, less than many and that's okay. I'm in no hurry to lose more. It hurts. Over the years people have passed, be it grandparents dying or other family and supposed friends removing themselves due to their own ignorance. Sometimes at the end of the day it all seems smaller than it used to be.
Those that left by their own accord apparently were not the family or friend a lifetime had fooled me into believing them to be. I am not at peace with that, but I live with it.
Those who have left due to means beyond their control stay with me still. My mother's parents passed when I was a bit younger, 20 years ago in fact. That is forever. And yet I can close my eyes right this minute and see myself as a boy in jeans and a sweater, standing at the corner of the yard in my childhood home watching every car that turned on our street in anticipation of their arrival on Thanksgiving morning. Sometimes I barely remember them. Sometimes I miss them greatly.
My mother expressed recently her sadness that they never had the chance to meet her grandson, my son Atticus- so I made her this: Nana & Papa.
I've gained my share, more than many. I have a beautiful pregnant wife, a son that I couldn't love more, and family and friends that are strong and loving. In this little life of mine I continue to add to this circle of loved ones. Every day brings the opportunity to meet someone exceptional. When things feel smaller than they used to be I only have to look into the face of any one of these people to set it right again; and for this I am thankful.
What are you thankful for?