<HONEA EXPRESS: Invasion of the Idiots
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Monday, November 14, 2005

Invasion of the Idiots

Do you know an idiot? Do you have a loved one or family member that is an idiot? Then you are not alone. Recent tests have shown that the ratio of idiots to non-idiots is rising drastically. Soon, non-idiots will be the minority. In some places this is already the case, such as politics and where I work.

What can we do about it?

  • Nothing- for years we have taken this path of isolationism regarding idiots, hoping they would just go away, the result has been a Darwinian evolution of the idiot, gaining in numbers and growing louder, ruder, more annoying and just plain dumber.
  • Elect them- while it makes it easier to keep an eye on an elected idiot, it also creates awkward situations such as war, religious fanaticism and high gas prices
  • Hire them- sure, it makes the company look humanitarian and p.c., but from a fiscal standpoint this is not a good option
  • Round them up into colonies- we've done this, it's called Congress, a regular who's who of leper-like mental defuncts (see Elect)
  • Run- a natural reaction, but frankly we're surrounded

In conclusion, there does not appear to be a solution to this epidemic. Stock up on your essential survival tools (toilet paper, batteries, TiVo) and buckle in for the ride. At least they keep it interesting.