<HONEA EXPRESS: April Fools, Suckers!
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It finally happened. Honea Express has moved to greener pastures, or possibly just out to pasture -- you make the call.

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Monday, April 02, 2007

April Fools, Suckers!

Boy, did I take you for a spin with that last post or what? Ha. I was just kidding. I didn't keep the receipt. I'm stuck with these boys.

I also don't care to become pregnant. Although lemoncillos are always nice, and while I may not go for the anal sex, I do like being held. I'm a spoonman, you know, I feel the rhythm in my hands, steal the rhythm while I can. That's how I snuggle roll.

I was trying to explain the concept of April Fool's Day to Atticus yesterday. We were on our way to Wal-Mart to stock up on formula for Zane (I know, I hate Wal-Mart, but I was wearing the clothes I had slept in and it was just easier to throw on a courtesy coat of deodorant for Wal-Mart than change my clothes and comb my hair for Target.) While driving we saw one (on every corner) of those people that hold signs shaped like big arrows to entice you to drive the direction of said arrow and look at the new homes or whatever happens to be the desired target. Although, I must admit, it's hard to know which way to drive when they keep spinning the damn things. I'm more likely to get vertigo than buy a new house.

So I asked Atticus if he wanted to be an arrow spinner when he grew up, or now I guess, since they don't appear to have much established in the way of criteria. He responded with a very enthusiastic "Yes!" so I pretended that I was going to pull over and get him an arrow. "April Fool's!" I yelled.

He didn't get it. I explained that a)I was teasing him, and b)I hope he aims a little higher than that arrow is right ...now....and now....and no..crap, he reversed it...now.

The rest of our drive was filled with the following "jokes" at my expense:

Daddy, when you grow up, you'll be so strong you can lift a house!

I humored him and agreed, since obviously, I'm already that strong.

I'm just teasing you Daddy! Then he laughed uncontrollably, like Dr. Drakken hatching a most excellent plot.

He continues, and you'll be so strong you can lift a car!

I gave him the benefit of the doubt and continued to play along. Just teasing Daddy! More laughter.

This went on for the remainder of our drive. Apparently, the idea of me getting bigger and stronger was quite funny.

We pulled into Wal-Mart and I turned to him, Atticus, only grown-ups get ice cream here, so don't cry when I get one and you don't. End laughter.

I was going to tell him that it was a joke, but damn, ice cream is expensive.

Just teasing!

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