Poop is the New Smurf
"Poop," I wrote, chuckling to myself, "is the new smurf."
I was leaving a comment at Jonathon's, and needless to say I was rather pleased with myself. I mean, come on, that's smurfing brilliant.
For those unfamiliar in the way of the Smurf there are a few things you should know to fully appreciate just how brilliant I am.
a) The Smurfs became extinct as a people due to the fact that there was only one female among their entire population and she was a tease.
b) Due to living in a mushroom the Smurfs were constantly hallucinating, paranoid and possibly impotent.
c) The Smurfs, and this is the only point that actually pertains to my comment, had a knack for replacing random words within their vernacular with the word "smurf." The word "smurf" could mean anything, a verb, adjective, adverb, and to a lesser extent a noun, unless said noun was an actual Smurf- for instance.
Kids, it seems, are much like Smurfs, but instead of smurfing everything with "smurf" they prefer to work in a different medium. Poop.
Much like the above link to Jonathon's blog, my life is filled with poop where I don't want it. Literally and figuratively.
"What do you want for lunch?" I'll ask.
"A peanutpoop and jelly sandwich," they'll reply, laughing.
"Don't smurf around, I'll make you a damn peanutpoop sandwich and you'll eat it."
"Where do you want to go today?"
"To the poop."
"Seriously, the poop? What's that, a store?"
"No, the poop!"
"The poop! The poop!"
"Do you have to go to the bathroom?"
And so forth and so on. Poop, it seems, is the new Smurf. And smurfly, I think it's pretty poopy.
But it gets old.