UPDATED: NOW WITH WINNERS! Contest: Win a Major Award
I'm assuming by your mere presence here that you are somewhat literate. That being the case there is a fair chance that you enjoy a good book now and again. How would you like to OWN not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, not ten, not eleven, not... oh wait, yes, 11- how would you like to win eleven books? That's the prize, my friends.
Eleven books will go to not one, not two, not three, not four, but five readers. Yes, 5 people will win eleven books each. Can you feel the excitement? The fact that I only have five readers makes your odds of winning a major award very good. Like Pete Rose good.
Here are the books you may win, as provided by our sponsor Hachette Book Group, USA:
The books have been selected especially for dads. This isn't because I don't like non-dads, but because Father's Day is coming up. BTW, if anyone is sounding this out, I don't need a tie. I work at home. I don't even need pants. Just put some beer in the icebox and let me take a nap.
Here is the contest. It is a simple multiple choice questionnaire followed by a short essay. You have 10 minutes to complete it. Winners will be drawn randomly from all completed submissions.
1. How many jelly beans are in this jar?
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
2. Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
a) living in a trailer park with Elvis
b) growing grass in the Meadowlands
c) buried under 1,673 jelly beans
d) who the hell is Jimmy Hoffa?
3. Which thing does not belong:
The essay: In 25 words, exactly, explain why you would like to win.
The extra credit: In 10 words, exactly, explain your feelings for Whit.
Winners will be notified in the comments and via email. Contest closes on Tuesday, June 10th at 11:59 p.m..<- do I need this extra period here?
We've got winners! They're in the comments.
Disclaimer for a contest*, but not this one:
1. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A purchase will not improve your chance of winning.
2. ELIGIBILITY. Contest is open only to legal residents of the United States who are currently over the age of 18 and have children who attend elementary, private or parochial schools that serve grades PreK-6. No home schools will be accepted.
*This disclaimer is actually from a Subway contest. I thought I'd use it since I have a nice group of readers outside of the U.S., and also home schoolers, both of which probably don't get hazed enough. The rules listed DO NOT apply to my contest- anyone can win, even Jared.