<HONEA EXPRESS: Per Mitch's Request

It finally happened. Honea Express has moved to greener pastures, or possibly just out to pasture -- you make the call.

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Please pardon the dust and update your feed readers accordingly. Thank you - Whit

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Per Mitch's Request

As I mentioned previously, some kind folks were nice enough to give me some topic suggestions. I'm going to do them all now because the wife and kids are out of town and I have no life. It's very, very sad to be honest. I do have a cold Moose Drool at my side though, and some Shout Out Louds on the iTunes, so I'll make the most of it.

Mitch McDad mitchmcdad @whithonea Single what? Perhaps you should be more specific. As for blog fodder...how about the Honea Express guide to oral sex.

That Mitch is a rogue and often works blue. I wasn't sure what he meant at first, so I looked "oral sex" up in the dictionary. Oral obviously means to speak, and sex, of course, is the tenderest of moments when two people love each other and rub their special purposes together.

Then it dawned on me, Mitch wants to hear some of the love poems that I've recited to my lover! Oh, Mitch, why didn't you just say so?

Of course, since I'm writing them down they will no longer be oral, but if you read them aloud to your lover everything should be okay. It's like group sex, which I'll look up in the dictionary later.

Here are the poems:

Pretty woman, love of my life,
if you get pregnant I'll make you my wife.


Girl I met in a funky bar,
sing me songs in the back of my car
and by "sing" I mean sex.


Lying here with you in my arms,
beneath fire escapes and car alarms,
I wish you would have told me
that was going to cost extra


Roses are red, violets are blue
I paid for the bed, cables free too!


I beg and plead,
please let's be free
I want and I need,
you're saving me
I choke on these words
my heart has a limp
I never asked to be the gimp


Well, there you are, Mitch. I hope these soft words of love and magic add a touch of romance to your own moments of oral sex.

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